Sunday, September 26, 2010 4:22 PM, MDT

WE ARE HOME!

Friday, October 1, 2010 9:39 AM, MDT

Bill has been hospitalized again, with a possible stroke. He is in Poudre  Valley Hospital in Fort Collins.

Friday, October 1, 2010 7:40 PM, MDT

The day has been full of mysteries. The doctor doesn't think that he had a stroke but a seizure. He has given him an anti-seizure drug and ordered more test. This afternoon while Bill was sleeping he started to have some sleep apnea and the doctor decided to move him to the ICU for observation.

He was conscious earlier today and responding to me and Jalyn.

My friend Kerry decided that Kayla should come and see her dad and has gone to Grand Junction to pick her up. He will take her back on Sunday.
Thanks for the prayers.

Bringing Bill home... Bill's mother and brother, Ken, were here. They helped me get Bill home. Ken went to pick up Bill prescriptions for me and his mother cooked a delicious dinner. It was strange to have Bill home and I wasn't sure how I was going to do it. I had arranged for some in home health care to come in but they were not suppose to start until later in the week. Bill's family went home on Tuesday.

 It was hot in the house and I think that it messed with Bill's head. I wonder if the heat contributed to the swelling that was going on in his brain. It kind of makes sense because we noticed a change when he would spike a fever. Anyway he did have some pretty major confusion over the few days he was home. I had a hard time getting him to cooperate with me a few times. It was extremely upsetting for all. I was thinking that maybe I should not have brought him home.

On Tuesday, Bill had dialysis and an appointment to see if we could get him some help with his hearing. I was able to get him to dialysis with out any trouble. His head seemed pretty clear during dialysis. He actually said to me that "this is very inconvenient, we don't have to do this". I said yes you do or you will die.(pretty telling now) The ear appointment didn't go as easily as I had hoped. Bill became very confused and not cooperative. I was able to get him to the appointment and he did cooperate in the office. (all he had to do was sleep). I managed to get him home, but that was not a great evening as I had a hard time getting him to bed. He just did not know what was going on and of course I had no idea that he was having strokes and it was out of his control.

Wednesday was a good day! I had hope again that he would improve and get better. I wasn't sure how much better he would get but I did have hope that he would have a quality of life. He actually helped me with some very small chores, unloading the dish washer and folding some towels. He enjoyed being outside and we took a walk down to his garden. He told me it was good to be home. He also gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead.

That night in bed he was talking in his sleep all night long. I could not get him to relax. He would stiffen up when I would touch him. Something was not right. The next morning he got up and dressed for dialysis. Right when it was time to go something happened(a stroke, but I didn't know that) and he became totally uncooperative. I practically had to carry him to the truck to get him to dialysis. I was in tears, Jalyn was in tears and Bill  had no idea what was going on. It was awful!! I want to erase that memory from my mind. I was able to get him into the dialysis center and told the nurses that I had a hard time. They were very sympathetic and wanted to help me. I left him in dialysis and ran some errands. I was very upset and was unsure of my decision to bring Bill home.

When I went to pick Bill up he was unable to walk or talk. It appeared to me that he was having a stroke. It was decided by me and the nurse that Bill  needed an ambulance. I was feeling a little numb. I just knew that I could not take him home. I could not have even gotten him into the truck, if I could have, then what?

Bill was taken to Poudre Valley Hospital. I didn't know what to do. I called my friend and she was able to come sit with me for a while. Another friend came and took the groceries that I had just bought and took them home for me.

Bill was admitted to the neuro ward with a possible stroke. There were a couple of ideas of what was going on. The first thing they thought was extra fluid on his brain. They were planning on doing surgery that night. When the neuro surgeon looked at the brain MRI's he said that was not the problem. He came and looked at Bill and said that he had a stroke, Bill's right side was completely paralysed. I was thinking that Bill would not ever be able to recover from a stroke. I just knew that there was no way that he had the energy to go through that. I had just spent 2 months watching many stroke victims recover while we were on the rehab floor and I knew he didn't have any more left in him.

Bill was semi-conscious and was reacting to me and my friends, Jon and Faith, who were by my side immediately.

Jalyn stayed with a friend as I didn't know how long I would be at the hospital and I didn't want her to be alone. It was a late night for me.

On Friday the doctors didn't think that he had a stroke but was having seizures. The symptoms and brain scans and such were not making any sense to the doctor. At one point the doctor was standing over Bill and said "this just doesn't make any sense!" He was frustrated. Bill kept stopping breathing, I alerted the staff and all of sudden there were at least 6 people in his room caring for him. The doctors decided that it would be best to move him to the ICU. I was ok with that because there is no better care in the United States than the ICU. However, I was scared and worried and everything at once.  It turns out that this was the beginning of the worst time in my life.