Closing of a book

I left Fort Collins early afternoon, August 22^nd, my car loaded for a road trip. I texted my friends and family that I was on my way. I had many good wishes. Music blaring and my eyes on the road, my mind slowly started to relax and I was able to just think about driving and the road. I stopped for the night in Sheridan, Wyoming at a KOA campground. I had to stop and think for a minute about what to do next, I always had help to set up a camp before. I have never camped alone before in my life. I soon got organized and set up my tent and bed, cooked my supper and after a quick Internet visit went to bed. A phone call from my favorite brother-in-law, made my evening.

The next morning I was up early, on the road by 7:30 am. Again, I was able to put most of my worries away and concentrated on my driving and the music playing. I stopped for gas and made a phone call to one of my friends in Great Falls. I was to meet her for lunch when I got into town. As I got closer to Great Falls, my heart was beating fast and I couldn’t listen to the music anymore. My thoughts went back to June of 2010, my eyes kept tearing up and I had to tell myself that “I can do this”. I could see the town long before I got to it. The hospital is pretty much the tallest building in Great Falls so, I could not miss it. 

 After lunch, I decided to go visit the hospital. I took some deep breaths and walked through those familiar doors. Nothing had changed of course, It was a surreal feeling walking those hallways again, only this time with no worries, no sick feeling in my stomach.

The elevator still talks to you as you enter, I was able to remember the floor we were on for so many weeks. One would think that I could never forget that, but I wasn’t sure if 4 was the correct floor. When I  walked in I was met with lots of hugs and smiles. It was so good to see everyone and to hear that we have had a lasting impact on some of the staffs lives and medical careers. I am glad to know that Bill's illness and our experience was not forgotten. That we have made a difference in other peoples lives, makes me feel good. I am so glad that I went to Great Falls and visited the hospital there and was able to reconnect with some of the people that made such a huge difference in my life and to be able to thank them.

 

The next morning I woke to fresh made muffins and juice. What a lovely hostess I had. I then headed to the hospital once again, this time to visit an amazing young woman that we had met while were in the ICU last year. She was undergoing yet another surgery. This one was not as complicated as the one she had last June, so I was able to see her in her regular room. Her father was such a comfort to me while we were in the ICU and since then. It was sooo good to see them and to give them hugs and well wishes for a speedy recovery this time around.

The next morning I headed north again. The Cut Bank emergency entrance is just as forlorn and sad looking as I had remembered. I didn’t go in, we were there for such a short time that I don’t remember anyone that may have worked there then. The drive from Cut Bank to Glacier is pretty much as I remembered too. A two lane road, and from Browning to St. Mary is just as curvy and mountainous of a drive as I had remembered. I could go a little faster in my Explorer than the pick-up truck, but not much. As I neared the entrance to park, I could see the amazing view that distinguishes Glacier National Park. WOW! Beautiful!

I decided to stay in a campground that I had never stayed at before. I set up my camp and then headed to Many Glacier, 20 miles to the north. This is where Bill first got sick and I had to drive us to Great Falls from here. The view that we could not see last year, was fabulous.  My thoughts were that this is the last place that I seen my husband alive and well. What a thought. I took my time looking around the Many Glacier Hotel and then drove over to the campground. I drove by where he spent his last good moments of his life. I didn’t stop because I wasn’t sure which spot was ours and there were campers there. I stopped and looked at the outside of the hotel room we used for a few hours that day, my thoughts were WOW that could have been where he died. Not such a wonderful place to take your last breaths.

Back at my camp I was able to relax and read a book, fix my dinner and build a fire. It was a lovely evening. I had booked a space on the Red Bus Tours for next morning. They are historic red buses that have given tours of the park since the 30’s. I was excited for the next day.

The Going to the Sun Road is a rather daunting drive, very narrow and lots of road construction. I was happy to leave the driving to the professionals and I could just sit back and enjoy the views, which were many! Since I was alone, I sat up front with the driver. The best seat on the bus! The tour guide was friendly and entertaining. As well as an accomplished driver. I wasn’t nervous at all during the drive. We drove to the west side of the park and had time on our own for lunch. I took the time to take some photos of Lake McDonald and the lodge. The drive back to camp was just as scenic and entertaining. I was wishing I had more time in the park after hearing the tour guide suggest some hikes that were not difficult or terribly long, maybe next time. My evening was a much needed shower, dinner and a sit by the fire.

The next morning I was up early preparing for a long drive, I decided to drive a short ways up the Going to the Sun Road to a spot the tour guide had mentioned the day before. I am so glad that I did that. The view, he had said was a 360° view of mountains, it was as he had promised. I was the only one there for a those few moments and the sun shining on the mountains was glorious! I said to myself “I love you God!”

 It was then that I realized that Bill got to spend his last days healthy and alive in one of the most beautiful places on earth. How lucky for him. How many people get to do that? Glacier is a place that he loved. We had visited there at least twice before. It just so happens that Glacier was the first experience of the west for him. He and a friend decided at a moments notice to drive there from Minnesota and go backpacking, in the late 70’s. Glacier will always be special to me as well. I will go back and bring my girls and hope to show them a place where their dad developed a love of the outdoors and for the western United States. A place for them to always remember a vibrant and energetic man, that was their dad.

I hope that I can now close this book with peace. I know that I can open it when ever I wish and remember good times. But I want to start my new story, a new book with new adventures and love and happiness.